Writer’s Review: Dolly and the Golden Tassel

Praise Be to Pleasure: A Glitter Gospel for the Bold and the Blessed

Make room, sinners and saints—Dolly and the Golden Tassel isn’t here to behave. This summertime spectacular doesn’t just sparkle, it seduces. With a soundtrack full of power ballads and country bangers, a cast of divine divas and irresistible demons, and a storyline more tangled than your ex’s excuses, it’s equal parts sin and salvation. Dolly’s miracle-working magic makes the world shimmer—but not without a little drama from the devil himself (hi, Burny).
Need a little more convincing before jumping on that saddle? Read on, dear friend, read on.

When He’s a Walking Red Flag But You’re Still Into It.

Hell hath no fury like a man who waxes his eyebrows. Burny stalked the stage like the devil in a honky-tonk, dragging temptation behind him with every sultry smirk. We don’t know what sins he committed to earn that heat—but we’d gladly join him in the flames.

She Sings, She Slays, She Saves Us All.

The second Dolly grabbed the mic, it was game over—we were hers. She didn’t just steal the spotlight, she bedazzled it. In the words of the queen herself: it may take a lot of money to look this cheap… but it takes a lot more talent to pull it off this flawlessly.

Sequined Suspenders Never Looked So Dangerous

This wasn’t stage presence—it was a public service in fringe. With a voice like velvet whiskey and abs that could cause traffic accidents…if this is what Southern hospitality looks like, consider us lifelong patrons. Yeehaw.

Name a More Iconic Duo, I’ll Wait. 

These two strode onstage like they owned not just the room, but the whole damn block. Honestly, they could’ve committed a petty crime mid-song and we’d still have cheered. And ladies, if you see this, share your Pilates routine; we beg of you. 

Jolene, Dolly, and the Man They Should’ve Left on Read..

With Dolly glowing from head to toe and Burny lurking around like your brother’s weird friend, I can’t help but wonder what could’ve been if Jolene and Dolly had their eyes on the real prize. Sigh… maybe next summer. 

Dolly and the Golden Tassel is everything your glitter-loving, heartbroken, heat-seeking soul craves. A story of power, passion, and perfectly timed hair flips, it’s a reminder that healing can come in the form of sequins, sass, and a well-maintained wig.

Dolly and the Golden Tassel is here all summer long.